Tuesday, September 20, 2011

A quick rant


I have not blogged in quite some time and I have to get back into it.  I enjoy it and it makes me feel better.  It is much cheaper than therapy!  It is like working out.  I always feel better when I am doing it and afterwards, but it is getting started that is the problem.    Speaking of therapy I really need some. I have been in such a funk/depression/anger management problem for the past week or so.  If you are a fellow woman reading this, you may understand the monthly monster that kicks your ass and every one within a 5 mile radius who deals with you.  I am not sure if that is what is going on.  All I know is I feel like shit.  I am tired all the time, all I want to do is eat, everything that anyone says or does pisses me off, even myself.  I am pissing me off.  I have everything I could ever want; a happy marriage, healthy, happy kids, a new puppy, a wonderful home and great friends and family.  What the f**k do I have to be upset about?  Why can’t I get off my ass and snap the f**k out of it?  
I have been to therapy, I know the coping skills.  I have dealt with my issues, set the boundaries, healed the inner child, etc. etc. etc.   Why then do I have no motivation?  I need to get stuff done and always feel as though I don’t know where to begin, so I just don’t.  If I don’t think it can get done right, or if I am not forced to do it, I just don’t do it.  If I don’t have a particular spot to put something it will sit there until I can find the perfect spot, instead of just putting it away.  I don’t know, then sometimes I find myself shoving things away anywhere they will fit, just so I don’t have to look at it.   Whatever, I am so over myself.  I have anything and everything I have ever wanted and what am I doing?  Whaa whaa waa, like a little spoiled brat.     
OK I feel better already.  Thanks for reading that rant.  I needed it.  Sometimes I just need to slap myself across the face and snap myself out of it.  I have better blogs coming.  Over the past few months I have started some really good ones.  I will finish them soon.  Thanks for being patient.  Blog to you all soon!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Oh, I so sknow what you mean. I went to a doctor and he put me on BC pills (my tubes are tied), it didn't help. I went to regular doctor and the front desk lady called me hormonal. I was but I still never went back. I changed doctors. I went back to gyno/ob guy and he put me on different BC pills. They helped finally. It isn't perfect but OH. My last Christmas through about the late spring (before the last set of BC pills), I was AWFUL. Your statement that even you were pissing you off, I totally get.

I knew that there was a problem. I knew I was being a bitch. I couldn't help it.

I sure wish you well with this. My gyno guy said if this last round of BC pills didn't do it, I was supposed to try antidepressants. I was not opposed as I was ready to try anything.
Frances