I have not blogged in quite some time and I have to get back into it. I enjoy it and it makes me feel better. It is much cheaper than therapy! It is like working out. I always feel better when I am doing it and afterwards, but it is getting started that is the problem. Speaking of therapy I really need some. I have been in such a funk/depression/anger management problem for the past week or so. If you are a fellow woman reading this, you may understand the monthly monster that kicks your ass and every one within a 5 mile radius who deals with you. I am not sure if that is what is going on. All I know is I feel like shit. I am tired all the time, all I want to do is eat, everything that anyone says or does pisses me off, even myself. I am pissing me off. I have everything I could ever want; a happy marriage, healthy, happy kids, a new puppy, a wonderful home and great friends and family. What the f**k do I have to be upset about? Why can’t I get off my ass and snap the f**k out of it?
I have been to therapy, I know the coping skills. I have dealt with my issues, set the boundaries, healed the inner child, etc. etc. etc. Why then do I have no motivation? I need to get stuff done and always feel as though I don’t know where to begin, so I just don’t. If I don’t think it can get done right, or if I am not forced to do it, I just don’t do it. If I don’t have a particular spot to put something it will sit there until I can find the perfect spot, instead of just putting it away. I don’t know, then sometimes I find myself shoving things away anywhere they will fit, just so I don’t have to look at it. Whatever, I am so over myself. I have anything and everything I have ever wanted and what am I doing? Whaa whaa waa, like a little spoiled brat.
OK I feel better already. Thanks for reading that rant. I needed it. Sometimes I just need to slap myself across the face and snap myself out of it. I have better blogs coming. Over the past few months I have started some really good ones. I will finish them soon. Thanks for being patient. Blog to you all soon!