Tuesday, September 20, 2011

A quick rant

I have not blogged in quite some time and I have to get back into it.  I enjoy it and it makes me feel better.  It is much cheaper than therapy!  It is like working out.  I always feel better when I am doing it and afterwards, but it is getting started that is the problem.    Speaking of therapy I really need some. I have been in such a funk/depression/anger management problem for the past week or so.  If you are a fellow woman reading this, you may understand the monthly monster that kicks your ass and every one within a 5 mile radius who deals with you.  I am not sure if that is what is going on.  All I know is I feel like shit.  I am tired all the time, all I want to do is eat, everything that anyone says or does pisses me off, even myself.  I am pissing me off.  I have everything I could ever want; a happy marriage, healthy, happy kids, a new puppy, a wonderful home and great friends and family.  What the f**k do I have to be upset about?  Why can’t I get off my ass and snap the f**k out of it?  
I have been to therapy, I know the coping skills.  I have dealt with my issues, set the boundaries, healed the inner child, etc. etc. etc.   Why then do I have no motivation?  I need to get stuff done and always feel as though I don’t know where to begin, so I just don’t.  If I don’t think it can get done right, or if I am not forced to do it, I just don’t do it.  If I don’t have a particular spot to put something it will sit there until I can find the perfect spot, instead of just putting it away.  I don’t know, then sometimes I find myself shoving things away anywhere they will fit, just so I don’t have to look at it.   Whatever, I am so over myself.  I have anything and everything I have ever wanted and what am I doing?  Whaa whaa waa, like a little spoiled brat.     
OK I feel better already.  Thanks for reading that rant.  I needed it.  Sometimes I just need to slap myself across the face and snap myself out of it.  I have better blogs coming.  Over the past few months I have started some really good ones.  I will finish them soon.  Thanks for being patient.  Blog to you all soon!