Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Screaming Banshee Moms, UNITE!

Compass Study
Compass Study (Photo credit: Calsidyrose)
When I first became a mother, I read every book and consumed as much information as I could from the myriad of resources out there. I love me some Google!  The problem with Google is, you can find out ANY information out there but you have to know what you are looking for. It is the virtual compass. A compass does not tell you where to go it just gives you the direction you are heading. If you don't know where you want to go, a compass can not get you there. There are as many different parenting theories out there as there are parents. Trying to find my style was not as easy as I thought it would be. It still isn't. I feel like I go back and forth from doing what I know is right and resorting back to the screaming banshee that I find comes natural.

The "Screaming Banshee Mom", is only heard when she is yelling at the highest of decibels. 

She must repeat herself at least 5 times. 

She needs massive amounts of coffee in order to keep her moving. 

She will partially complete about 12 tasks a day, never fully completing any. 

She yells about her child's messy room, when the rest of her house is just as messy. 

Horrible life threatening accidents are constantly running a loop in her brain and she stresses about everything safety related when it comes to her children. 

She has no patience and will continually tell those around her that she has no patience for this/that/you/them. 

She slams things, doors, windows, pots, pans, glasses, utensils. 

She is constantly in need of a deep breath. 

NO one listens to her and everyone talks to her. 

Everyone needs her to do something; usually menial tasks, like putting something away, taking something out, wiping something/someone, cleaning something/someone, etc. 

Animals gravitate to her and want her attention also. 

She is a powerful adversary when it comes to those she protects but powerless when it comes to her own needs. 

She wistfully thinks of times when she was young, single and firm. 
Firmness alludes her and she is pissed. This pissed off feeling never goes away, especially when she sees young, single and firm people in her midst. 

She will bite your head off if you criticize her parenting skills. If you are her spouse, and you criticize, she will follow the biting of the head with a foot up your ass. 

She needs a break. Even in the middle of the night when she gets up to pee, her brain starts and does not stop. Always looking for ways to manage her time more efficiently. 

She murmurs to herself and answers her own questions, since no one will talk to her. 

When she screws up, she is infuriated that someone else didn't screw up. 

She yells at her children to "Stop Yelling!" 

She cries for her children to stop crying. 

She whines that her children whine. 

NOW, stop judging.

I used to judge these moms. Before I had children I thought "I will NEVER do that." Then I had children and I did that! 

We are not perfect moms. There is no such thing. Because even if you do everything right and you are consistent, kind, loving and patient - when they reach their twenties and see a therapist - your kids will still find a way to blame you for something.  Why not make it worth that therapist's while?

Don't get me wrong. I do not advocate for being a "Screaming Banshee Mom." 

Do I find it a problem that "Screaming Banshee Mom" comes to me so naturally? YES. 

Do I fight it on a daily/hourly basis? HELL YES. 

Does the "Screaming Banshee Mom" rear her ugly head every now and again? Most definitely! 

But, I figure it's not so bad because if my kids are going to therapy in their twenties anyway, at least, I am giving them something to complain about. None of this mamby-pamby "I didn't feel valued as a child" bullshit.  Lets go for the full force "My mother was a crazy screaming lunatic who talked to herself and was always putting her foot up my dad's ass!" THAT's therapy worthy. Let's give them something to talk about. Who's with me?

Screaming Banshee Mom's UNITE!


denise said...

I love you :) I needed this today, so thank you so much for sharing yourself with us. I too am a SBM and have a SBD(screaming banshee daughter) to prove it. Thankfully, my son has not adopted this attribute of mine, though I'm sure I'll pass along some equally undesirable traits to him too. Spread the wealth, right?

Momma O said...

Thanks for the love, Denise! Us SBM's need ALL the love we can get! Way to go in raising a daughter like us! We need reinforcements! Thanks for reading and relating!

F said...

My aunt told me (and I love her so much), that it is not whether you screw up your kids. It is how much.Rock on mama! with ya on the I will never and now I do. Oh, I do.

Momma O said...

F! I love your aunt now too! Thanks as always for reading!

Unknown said...

This was like reading my autobiography! Been there, done that. Will likely be there, doing that again. Much to my dismay. Great post, Momma!!!

Momma O said...

Thanks Ave! It is nice to know there are other SBM's out there! I believe we could scare the bejesus out of most terrorists. The government should be sending us out on missions! Thanks for the comment!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the smile! I was not a SBM but my husband more than made up for it. I believe that teenagers are like dogs: they only hear at certain levels - high decibels in this case rather than high frequencies. Anyway, good luck with the parenting.

Momma O said...

Thanks Mo. I am glad you smiled! I am sure teenage years will provide a lot of material for my blog. Looking forward to it! Thanks for reading and commenting!

Unknown said...

Perfect! That all just happened to me today! Oh thank god i am not alone. The Guilt doesn`t weigh so heavy now! Thanks

Momma O said...

No you are NOT alone! It happens to the best of us! Thanks so much for reading and commenting.

runningnekkid said...

Hah this is absolutely me. There is not enough coffee in the world some days. Okay, most days. :)

Momma O said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Momma O said...

Thank you! It is always so nice to know that there are others out there as bat-shit crazy as me! Thanks so much for reading and commenting.