Monday, January 7, 2013

Momma O's Wisdom. Preached (not always practiced!)

Here is a randomly numbered list of things that I have learned, am learning and will never learn.  All good, sound words of wisdom, from my brain to your eyes..... Good Luck.

1.  Confidence does not mean being “full of yourself.”  It is quiet and restrained and it’s presence is a comforting feeling for all involved.  

2.  NO one is looking at you! I mean, people see you and acknowledge you, but they aren’t examining you like you do to yourself.  Think about it.  When you look at someone, do you go over every detail of their person?  Do you obsess over the wrinkle in their brow or the way that their shoes match their hat?  

3.  Don’t worry about what other’s may think of the way you look.  Dress up or don’t, put on makeup or don’t, fix your hair or don’t. Either way, do what YOU want to, at any given moment.  Don’t fall into a routine of doing things just because it is what you always do.  If you want to put makeup on to go to the grocery store, but you never do that, do it anyway.  If you want to go to the mall in yoga pants but you never go out dressed that casual, do it anyway.  Don’t over analyze, just do what you feel.  

4.  Stop concentrating on what you do wrong and focus on the things you are good at.  I hate laundry, but my family never goes without clean clothes. No, I may not be organized, but it all gets done, one way or another.  

5.  Say what you mean and mean what you say.  This doesn’t mean hurting others.  Know what to say and WHEN to say it.  There are times that my mouth just keeps going and going and going.  (hence this blog) I struggle with that.  But I am learning that there is some power in keeping thoughts and opinions to yourself.  That way you can organize them and reserve judgement until all the facts are presented.

6.  DON’T Bullshit.  Don’t put things out there that you don’t want to come back, because it always comes back! 

7.  When in doubt shave your legs, pits and hoo-haa.  I can’t tell you how many times I have been in the shower, and debated what was going to be exposed before my next shower.  When trying to figure out what had to be shaved, I have always guessed wrong.  

8.  Pay your debts and control spending. Yes, you/your children/your husband may deserve a big ticket item, but when you pay for it with money you don’t have, you will not be happy.  You will feel worse.  Which will make you look for something that makes you feel better and the cycle continues. This goes for food too.  Just replace the first sentence with “Exercise and control eating.” Replace ‘big ticket item’ with ‘Cheese Steak Stromboli.’  Go ahead, I will wait.

9.  Keep your shit together and when you don’t, and you really screw up, OWN it.  Apologize to whomever you need to and move on.  Don’t dwell in it. Don’t make ridiculous excuses and remember that no one is perfect.  This can be hard, but it is worth it.  

10.  Get help. Don’t hold it in.  No matter what it’s form, therapy, exercise, talking with a friend, a prescription...  But when you unleash your shit onto someone that is NOT a professional, make sure it is NOT the same person every time.  It can wear them down and burden them unnecessarily.  Spread the love and let someone else listen to your problems.  You will be surprised who has the same problems and you can help each other. 

11.  You ARE special but so is everyone else.  Remember that everyone has their own journey.  Everyone has their own, very colorful, baggage.  Some carry that baggage opened up and out in front of them and some may be hiding that ugly shit way, way in the back.  Don’t judge them for they way that they carry it or what is in it.  Most of the time they did not pack those bags.  

12.  As my good friend has said, Live Out Loud.  Stop apologizing for being you.  If you don’t like something CHANGE it.  You can talk it out, and analyze how you are going to change it, but don’t keep complaining.  Don’t wait for someone else to come along and do it for you.  That is no ones job but your own!  

13.  Be there for your friends and loved ones, but don’t fix their shit!  If they ask for help in fixing something, help.  If they need a hand, offer it, but it is not not not your responsibility to make them all right.  

14.  Do it because you WANT to.  If your intent in helping someone is just to help them and the reward of that help is the great feeling you get, go for it.   Don’t do things thinking you are owed something in return.  This will always leave you disappointed.

15.  Make your own rules.  Put on your big girl panties and stop worrying about what your mother/father/husband/sister/brother/neighbor/most favorite blogger would do.  Do what you feel and you will be surprised at how much more respect you get.  

There you have it.  Please, leave some more words of wisdom in the comments section below and make sure you pass this on so someone else can join in.